Friday, December 19, 2014

Misplaced Yearning

I feel like there are a lot of things I'm yearning for, and consequently I feel like I'm living in Proverbs 13:12 -- "Hope deferred makes the heart sick."  So I'm sitting in my apartment on my day off, typing out a blog post, because I know that there's value in giving thoughts a pace (a slowness, a patience and a peace, perhaps?) rather than letting them run as they please.

Deferred hope for serious things, like a world where people of different races at least listen to the struggles, the tears, and the pain of the others--and continue listening until they struggle, cry, and endure pain together on the road to racial reconciliation instead of race blindness.  Deferred hope for less serious things, like comfort for a certain person who's feeling all twisted up right now.  Deferred hope for personal things, like a somewhat stable vision of where I'm supposed to be going in this madness.  Deferred hope for everybody things, like justice for people harassed into homelessness by systematic injustice and inequitable access to resources and catching a tough break.

That verse has a second clause, though: "--but a longing fulfilled is the tree of life."  Honestly, I write this as a reminder to myself: Longings find their ultimate fulfillment in Jesus, who is the True Vine, the River of Life, the Firstborn over all Creation.  God, make me know that that is true; for now I repeat it in faith.  Eh, I'm still feeling sort of deferred at the moment, but this is a good reminder of Advent: "Behold, I am coming soon!" (Revelation 22:7).  Come, Lord Jesus, and let my ultimate longing be for you.  This deferral is making my heart sick.

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